My family has been through some things (especially in the last eighteen months or so) that I can tend to wish would never have happened. (I’m still uncomfortable talking about them anywhere, so be warned that this post is going to be a bit vague. 😉 )
The “things” keep coming back now and then too, and each time, even though its been a little while, they still hurt. Or they hurt in new ways.
These past couple weeks our experiences have come up again, only this time for good, even if they still hurt. This time they are encouraging and bolstering others as they struggle and are giving rise to good, constructive conversations.
It’s been really amazing to see how God has used it for good. I had thought that because it had been so long, so explosive, and so final, that nothing else and nothing good was going to come from it.
But as I look back, this hasn’t been the only good.
I’ve had to see that I must have a relationship with God on my own if I’m going to hold fast to Him even when others mischaracterize Him or obscure my view with their dishonoring actions.
I’ve had to see that just because some have changed the meaning or emphasis of His word, I can’t throw those words out. I still have to listen up and weigh what’s being said even if I can tend to want to “shut down” when those “trigger” words and topics are said.
I’ve had to learn to trust again that people will love Him and His word and His people and treat all three with careful respect.
Even as our experiences are being used to help others, my mini experience of the “things” is being worked out too.
They’re going in a story. Like they always do. XD I didn’t realize how much these struggles I’ve had (and continue to have) are forming into questions that my characters are asking and struggling with.
I’ll leave you with this Facebook post that has been sort of an anthem for my thoughts lately.
Dear JJ in 2006,
I hate to break it to you, but you have a few pretty rough years ahead wrestling your anxiety and panic attacks. It will get much worse, and then, slowly, it will get better. You’ll hate it for a long, long time, and then, like a ray of sunlight through the clouds, God will show you that this burden is actually a gift.
You’ll realize that you write lullabies because your own worried soul needs soothing. If it weren’t for your anxiety, most of your songs would not exist. There wouldn’t be any stories of babies and mamas being comforted by your music.
So hang in there. There is unbelievable beauty and redemption ahead.
Nothing is wasted.
God is good.
JJ in 2020
I’m excited to see what else He does. ❤ Have a good week!