An Adventurer’s Packing List

Hello, adventurer! Before you set out, there are several items you need to pack. Of course, if you have a towel all non-[adventurers] will automatically assume that you are also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, they will then happily lend the [adventurer] any of these or a dozen other items that the [adventurer] might accidentally have “lost.” (Adapted from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)

There are more obscure items [fictional] people have found important to adventuring that you may not be able to borrow and will certainly need to pack. Let’s make a list!

  • A garden hose–the sturdier the better. This is very important in case your house nearly floats away or your traveling companion almost falls off a blimp.
  • A leaf blower. Essential for not only keeping the mailbox clean but also using against your enemies or flying on when you need to save the day.
  • Sheets. These are the only proven method for climbing out of windows but are optional if you are going to be in a civilized area where they are readily available.
  • Breadcrumbs. These are quite necessary if you get lost or hungry. Just beware of birds! They will be happier than hounds in a paper chase.
  • A basket of cakes for Granny. If needed, these can be made into breadcrumbs. The birds following you will distract the wolf.
  • Big boots to signal the others that there is going to be an Expotition.
  • A handkerchief. Bilbo forgot his, and look at what happened to him!
  • A top hat. This will be an excellent replacement nest for a Neverbird and also help you feel more proper flying around in your nightclothes.
  • A holocaust cloak. You wouldn’t believe how useful these are for storming the castle.

You likely won’t be able to bring everything (unless your conveyance is bigger on the inside), but if worse comes to worst at least take the towel.

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What else would you bring?

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